Monday 24 August 2015

my story

persuasive

l.g. be able to persuade an audience to my point of view
SOS. - use explanations and elaborate my reasons
  • separate ideas into intro, body and conclusion
  • use features like time connectives, tenses, modal language
  • use paragraphs to group my ideas
  • use precise language that relates to the topic
  • use correct sentences
  • punctuate with caps, full stops, commas and other punctuation.

first draft

dear mr Cripps

Well mr cripps the new rule you might be enforcing well it just a rule that our school does not need.

Firstly the school has sports during school like rugby,soccer,netball and hockey you take that off the people that have been good.

Secondly kapa haka a school culture some kids enjoy it so if we are the best school why would you take one of our cultural activities away.

Furthermore teacher have the kids that run and do jobs for the teacher . Like getting the thing the teacher has printed or are you really going to buy a printer for each class so kids don't have to run. I don't think we have that in our budget so do you really think it a good idea to add this into your school.

I hope you don't add the new school rules it won't be a good idea so i hope i have changed your mind about the rule so my topics were sports, kapa haka,and why you don't really want to stop kids from running for their teacher

by Blake h


Dear MR Cripps

Well Mr Cripps the new rule you might be enforcing well it just a rule that our school does not need.

Firstly the school has sports during school like rugby,soccer,netball and hockey you take that off the people that have been good. without sport the school would be boring beside from the awesome teachers and wouldn't that mean cross country or athletics are they not aloud as well

Secondly the kapa haka. Are you going to take that away because it's during class kapa haka is a cultural activity  so kids would not be able to learn a different language i don't think that very fare

Furthermore teacher have the kids that run and do jobs for the teacher . Like getting the thing the teacher has printed or are you really going to buy a printer for each class so kids don't have to run. I don't think we have that in our budget so do you really think it a good idea to add this into your school.

I hope you don't add the new school rules it won't be a good idea so i hope i have changed your mind about the rule so my topics were sports, kapa haka,and why you don't really want to stop kids from running for their teacher so do you really think this is a good idea well I don't.

by Blake h

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